Subject: U.S. Filipino life - sigh...
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 1996 14:17:50 -0700
From: anonymous@filipino
Newsgroups: soc.culture.filipino

Well, here's one American-born and raised Filipino who is and has been learning more about living the life of a Filipino with ties to both the U.S. and the Philippines. On my side most of my relatives have been here for decades. None of my brothers and sisters speak the language anymore. On my wife's side most have not been here very long, most are here in California but some are still in the Phil.

Of all things, I never imagined that one side of my garage would be used for balikbayan boxes filled with everything you can find at a flea market and addressed to a relative in the Phil. but have never been sent because relatives are still trying to find others to send them through, then they end up buying something else to send. I guess its because I have a 3 car garage with lots of extra room. So, since I don't need the room, the boxes have not yet been donated to charity.

I never imagined that part of my shopping would not be at lucky's but would be at the nearest oriental store because my son has learned to like pandesal versus whole wheat bread. And I needed to buy Sinigang sauce mix, oriental vegetables and "genuine" soy sauce and patis.

I never imagined that there would be a time when I would be surrounded by in-laws who having recently immigrated from the Philippines would choose to live with us out of all the other relatives because my wife and I are doing relatively well (and they like me and I can't say no).

I never imagined that I would have more pairs of shoes outside of my door than I had shoe racks to put them on.

I never imagined that I would be faced with the dilemma of how to best teach my 5 year old Tagalog if only so he could converse more easily with his 3 year old cousin who just immigrated and speaks Tagalog most of the time. Of course, learning Tagalog would be for his long term good. Its not easy when I do not speak it myself.

I never imagined that for a few years my monthly phone bill would never be below $100 or more until my wife and I finally decided to just start saying NO.

I never imagined that throwing parties would be so expensive even with relatives doing the cooking, until I realized that the style is always to have two or three times as much food as you need, just in case. Then, everyone gets to take something home and you feel like you were a good host and just provided for everyone for the next few days.

How I long for those days when I could walk around the house wearing anything I want (or nothing at all!)... when I could get by on ten pounds of rice as opposed to buying the biggest sack I could find. They're heavy!!

How I long for those days when I could account for every penny spent and penny owed us. Instead I've given up trying to keep up with things such as discovering that Ate Ling (fictitious) does not owe us money anymore because her other friend paid us by buying pasalubong which she sent to the Philippines through a friend. Never mind that the money and gifts did not equal each other in value. That's utang na loob, di ba?

How I long to get that BMW convertible so I can relive my adolescent experiences as close as I can like when I had a 300 horsepower muscle car that could burn rubber in every gear. But most likely I will get a minivan in a color that doesn't show dirt easily because I can't find time to wash the car when I need to, that seats seven people for those jaunts to Lake Tahoe or Las Vegas where I do all the driving (and have a backache to show for it) because I'm the only one that knows how to deal with mountain roads, snow and driving with tire chains.

How I long for that trip to Paris and a walk along the Seine with my wife but its funny how that trip to the Philippines always seems to start taking a higher priority when it gets down to actually planning the vacation. I keep saying that the next trip as a compromise will be spent almost entirely at a Philippine resort, far away from relatives.

Do I ever long for a different lifestyle than what I have? No. Do my in-laws? Probably not. Would they rather be in the Philippines? Probably so. But because I have family around me that I get along with, and we all help out each other it is truly a blessing. And there's never a dull moment. Three cheers for the Filipino extended family household!!

Have I exxagerated? Well, just a bit. Not all these things have happened to me at the same time!!

Just a few glimpses in the life of a Filipino in San Jose, California.

Sorry for rambling but I hope some found it entertaining.

anonymous@filipino